Virginia Woolf

Sometime last week, the sound of men fighting in the parking lot woke me up. The next morning, the sun woke me up and my body walked me to the shower to use one of the seven worst smelling body washes created by man (woman?). I think it was gum drop scent that morning and while washing myself I realized that my aunt doesn't know me at all and I'm pretty sure she re-gifted those body washes and gave them to me. Chocolate mint, strawberry frosting, gingerbread house, candy cane, angel food cake. All of them smell like shit. I would re-gift them but not to my niece. Maybe to my grandma who can't smell very well. The smell of the gum drop reminded me of the game Candy Land that I played more than any other game I have played in my entire life. The nostalgia that comes with scents is funny. One scent makes me think of 7th grade volleyball when our math teacher was the coach. He was funny in a perverted way. Then that day I was walking to work on campus on the phone with somebody when I saw a guy riding a unicycle. I thought about how dangerous that is, especially when you have to be so ready to dodge a person walking too slow, or a person who is about to turn left when you think they are going to turn right. People aren't cars and don't come with brake lights or turning signals. I thought about the time that John and I rode a tandem bike around his parents neighborhood. We couldn't get in sync with each other and I got so scared that we were going to crash that I got angry. I got so mad at John because he wouldn't stop. He kept on encouraging me to try but the fear became worse and worse until I just got off the bike and walked back to his parent's house. I hope that's not the way I die.