Virginia Woolf

Sometime last week, the sound of men fighting in the parking lot woke me up. The next morning, the sun woke me up and my body walked me to the shower to use one of the seven worst smelling body washes created by man (woman?). I think it was gum drop scent that morning and while washing myself I realized that my aunt doesn't know me at all and I'm pretty sure she re-gifted those body washes and gave them to me. Chocolate mint, strawberry frosting, gingerbread house, candy cane, angel food cake. All of them smell like shit. I would re-gift them but not to my niece. Maybe to my grandma who can't smell very well. The smell of the gum drop reminded me of the game Candy Land that I played more than any other game I have played in my entire life. The nostalgia that comes with scents is funny. One scent makes me think of 7th grade volleyball when our math teacher was the coach. He was funny in a perverted way. Then that day I was walking to work on campus on the phone with somebody when I saw a guy riding a unicycle. I thought about how dangerous that is, especially when you have to be so ready to dodge a person walking too slow, or a person who is about to turn left when you think they are going to turn right. People aren't cars and don't come with brake lights or turning signals. I thought about the time that John and I rode a tandem bike around his parents neighborhood. We couldn't get in sync with each other and I got so scared that we were going to crash that I got angry. I got so mad at John because he wouldn't stop. He kept on encouraging me to try but the fear became worse and worse until I just got off the bike and walked back to his parent's house. I hope that's not the way I die.

Loveee

I told my dear friend that she is an amazing woman. She just laughed at me and changed the subject. Mentioning her niece and her amazing discovery of a robotic leg. 

Pretty soon you will have your MASTERS! You are incredible and I love you.

Speaking of amazing discoveries, my niece was in the kitchen with my sister during Thanksgiving. She looked at the turkey and asked my sister, with a inquisitive look on her face, if that bird used to be alive. When I was 4, I never thought about my cheeseburger happy meal and the fact that the burger used to be a cow that grazed in a pasture. My niece also has her comedic moments...like when she was in a public bathroom stall with my sister and asked, "Mom, why are you fuzzy?"

Let's do this all day

Yogurt and garbage

The smell of spring takes me back to last year when I was preparing for my trip to Greece. It smells the same over there too. The spring-time air, I mean. Not the smell of the huge mounds of trash, but even those mounds of trash seemed better than American mounds of trash. Their dumpsters are very innovative. They are like a giant trash can that has the lever at the bottom that you push with your foot to open the top. I guess they don't like to get there hands dirty. I want to go back and eat a giant bowl of Greek yogurt. I heard that I could make my own Greek yogurt if I wanted to by using full-fat yogurt and putting it in a cheesecloth or something like that. You would make a bag of yogurt in the cheesecloth and suspend it over a bowl to let all of the liquid drain...and then, hey, Greek yogurt.
Yesterday I walked out with two trash bags with the goal of cleaning up the ditch right next to my apartment. Not even half-way through my endeavor and my first bag was nearly full. But among the trash in the ditch, I found an empty garbage bag in perfectly good condition. A force-flex bag, even. So I guess someone had the idea of cleaning up but couldn't make it past opening the bag. After 3 bags filled to the brim with trash, I made my way back. I had to walk on a bike trail and all of these people would walk by me and see that I was weighed down with bags of trash. They just looked at me like I was a weird hippy. I had to leave a pile of 5 boxes because I couldn't carry everything. I bet they are still there.

Pets and non-pets

Animals are pets, but animals can be more than pets. Sometimes they seem smarter than humans. Humans can be pets. We can spoil them and they can sometimes pee on the floor.
My friend Isabelle has a cat named Ava, which is the name of my non-pet niece. Ava the pet has a toy or special domain or place of refuge. It can be all things in one. It is a cardboard army tank in camouflage and it says, "FUR TANK." When I was babysitting her, I lured her in there with a fluffy red toy. Humans can be lured into tanks too.
Tanks for reading my first post.